Do I Have to ALWAYS Learn the Hard Way?

The short answer is yes, yes I do.  I don’t generally believe printed warnings and because of me my employer’s handbook had to be amended.  I went to brunch with a friend, I confessed I once used a straw in a hot beverage and found out first hand why you aren’t supposed to do that.  A look crossed her face, it could’ve been pity, it also could’ve been one of those “I know you’re not stupid, so why did you do that?”  I then told her “you know, I also found out why you don’t push a big trash bin with the lid open.  Do you know why?”

So there I was, in my yard putting cut grass into our green waste bin – it was a push mower with no catcher so I was raking and “shoveling” into the bin.  With all that work why would I want to close the bin to simply walk it several steps up to reopen it for grass-shoveling – I know, I leave it open!  Yes, there is a warning on the can, but why would I heed that?

With the lid open, I did what I normally do, tip the can back and roll forward – I promptly threw myself away.  Yes, with the lid open and the can tipped back the lid dangles, swaying gently by your feet, then you step on it, which tips the whole can backward and BLAMO, you go headfirst inside; this is exactly what happened to me.  Dry grass all over me, had to pick it all up again and there wasn’t even anyone to witness and then laugh at me!

Please make with the laughing now, cuz that shit’s funny!

Dramatic reenactment rendered in paint

What I Want for Christmas

I really want to learn how to throw a good punch, the kind that might break my hand, but in a very satisfying, oh-my-God-I-can’t-believe-he’s-out-cold, kinda’ way.   I’m not going to get into the “you know that’s assault” talk, because if I throw a punch you can damn well bet that I need to do it, hang the consequences…besides CreepyKid is very nearly an adult.

I learned pacifism from my father, it’s served me well, I am generally likeable and can usually talk my way out of a sticky situation.   It’s due to him I have my spin-doctoring skills and have never needed to know how to throw a punch.

I learned passive-aggression from CreepyMom and AuntMom, they are the queens of this with heavy usage of guilt.  As a result I have created a resistance to guilt, even Jewish guilt which is the strongest!  This has also served me well and I have ninja like skill with guilt and teasing.

Coupled the guilt and the verbal skills have created the one-two punch of persuasion, which makes me a very dangerous, silver-tongued combatant, as long as we’re word sparring.  I am not in the best of practice, but with just a little my skill is honed.

However, I would like to be able to defend my own honor with a nice jab to the eye socket.  This is where my Uncle comes in, he taught his kids how to protect themselves with both offensive and defensive maneuvers – this is what I want.  I can’t think of a better present than to be able to protect and defend myself with my favorite move, which is a strike of forehead against nose…this is all I have in my arsenal and I can thank my Grandfather for it…my strong Irish skull.

Today at Work

We were shown a spreadsheet that would help maintain some metrics based information until we get the software (which will do just that) up and running – so about two months.  The meeting went something like this:

Behold our amazing new Excel workbook, color coded for Projects that are in progress, preparing to start and not started/on hold.  The thing is full of formulas to make all the important calculations easy, it’s not locked in any way so we will have to trust the twenty-five people this will go to, to NOT change anything.  Those twenty-five folks will fill it out and send it to one person who will compile everything into one spreadsheet – which should be as easy as cutting and pasting.  We will then have our on-going metrics regarding multi-tasking.

“Um, can we lock the cells so things can’t be altered?”
“No, if we lock the cells they won’t be able to populate the sheet AND have it calculate correctly.”

“Well, I know if I got this the first thing I would do is add and delete columns, so can we add more columns for people to doodle in?  If we don’t they’re just going to add them in themselves”
“Sure,” additional twelve columns added.

“Can we make the blue cells aqua?”
“Can we add a pattern to that?”
“Can we change the font size/style/color?”

Great, it looks like a bunch of clowns vomited on my Excel program THANKS!

The sad thing is that this is NOT the first time I’ve run into this.  A spreadsheet was sent out with three simple color codes: Yellow fill (need training), Yellow Fill with Red Font (Need training this day), Green with black font (took training this day).  Then each of the dozen groups would slightly alter it “I don’t like that shade of green,”  “we changed the green to blue because we like it better,” “I decided to make my own color codes, the legend is on the second page of the workbook.”  Ugh, people, can’t live with them, can’t randomly bash them in the head for their stupidity.

Catching Up

Well, where to start.  For those who had been following me before, here’s some catching up for you…for those who hadn’t, think of it as an intro.

TheCreepyKid:  is 16 now and is learning to drive, she’s a senior in high school and should have her AA completed by the end of Spring.  She’s applying to several California colleges, but she’s hoping to get into Loyola Marymount.

WoodTurnerD: I broke it off with him earlier this month after originally breaking up in July.  Unfortunately he’s currently out of work, so he’ll be staying for a little while, but he’s still turning beautiful wood pieces.

CousinH: she’s still living with me, helping me around the house (which is awesome) and getting her life back on track.

Me,  CreepyGirl: well, I bought a house, which I’d love to sell but  can’t right now or I’d take a flippin’ bath.  I’m still working at the same place I had been, but moved to another area, which was great because I was six months away from walking away from it all and flipping hamburgers at Mickey D’s.   

Halloween was grand, got to haunt ToyKeeper’s place again after a one year hiatus.  I still work the RenFaire and am going to a guild meeting soon.   

The holidays are up and coming, which means my stress level is sure to gear up shortly and not come down until February.

So I’m older, potentially wiser and still just as mouthy as I was on my last blog space.

Time for a Fresh Start

For a blog that is, I was regularly blogging about the day-to-day goings on in my life about six years ago.  I was unable to blog, also known as unable to blog from work and being busy during my “off hours,” I think my last posting was over six months ago.

Anyway, need a place to vent ~ here it is…that way if you know me in real-life, or FB or anything like that you DON'T have to hear it...or if you enjoy reading it...um...you can hear it several times.